Thursday, July 11, 2013

Dealing with Hypocrisy When the Hypocrite is You

First of all, thank you SO much for all of your kind words and messages on yesterday's post. It was really hard for me to write, but it was really cathartic. That being said, this morning, I was a hypocrite (in a different sense).

Yesterday, I wrote about how I have been working on (and getting better at) going with the flow when things do not go according to plan. That was not the case this morning. I had planned on doing 6-8 miles of hill repeats this morning at the causeway. When I woke up at 530, I did not want to get out of bed. I did end up getting up, but it was already 80 degrees by the time I got to the causeway at 6 am. I went on with my workout anyway and was feeling good mentally, but physically I was aching. Today was day 4 in a row of running (three of those days were two-a-day workouts) and I was just feeling sore. I felt better as I worked out the kinks and took some fuel at mile 3, because I had intended on going 6-8 miles. However, once I started the hill repeat for mile 5, my legs were killing me. My brain told me the smart thing would be to stop, since I had already worked my legs really hard this week, so I did that. Even though I wasn't feeling bad mentally, I was kicking myself as I stretched out. I was really frustrated that things didn't go according to my plan because, mentally, I felt like I could go until mile 8. However, because my body was telling me that it needed rest, I was mad. Then I thought, "you are being such a hypocrite, why are you mad?"

I changed my mindset then. I thought about how 4 miles of straight hills was impressive, especially since I've never truly done hill repeats. I thought about how some people cannot run. I thought about how some runners might not be able to do what I have done. I thought about how my legs have carried me through 3 straight weeks of running 4-days in a row, plus 2 days of heavy strength training each week. I thought about how I was mentally strong, when that is usually where I crack. I thought about how I still love to run after running those hills. Then, I was proud of myself. So now, instead of being down on myself for the rest of the day, I'm going to be happy that I worked out and just get on with the rest of my day. That's all you can do when things don't go according to plan.

How do you deal with hypocrisy? What was your workout for today?