Wednesday, July 10, 2013

I Got Free

This post is going to be a little heavier today, but it's something that I have been wanting to write for a long time, so if you don't want any heavy business today, then feel free to skip today's post. I promise I won't be offended :)

With my 23rd birthday on the horizon at the end of the month (July 31 in case you want to send me some running presents), I've been reflecting a lot on 22 and how I have transformed in just a year. If you would have asked me a year ago, my life would have been totally different. If you would have asked me a year ago, I would have told you that at this time next year (aka now), I would be planning a wedding. Instead, I got heartbreak, but I also got free for the first time in my entire life.

In September, the relationship I was in for 3 years ended. I was devastated. We had bought a condo in FL so that I could go to graduate school, fixed it up, and were finally setting into a sense of normality when things ended. I was blindsided and incredibly heartbroken. I was angry and confused. He moved out; I stayed here and am currently living in our condo. But after 3 weeks of sulking, I made the decision to let go of being angry because that was holding me back. I started to become accepting of the fact that sometimes life does not go according to plan. And I got free.

For the first time in my life, I stopped trying to plan out every day of my life. I decided to go to with the flow as best as I could. And in my sadness, I got free. Strangers, both male and female, were approaching me and telling me that I am beautiful and that I have a shining personality. This took me by surprise in that I was feeling so sad and so down on myself, yet those around me could tell that I had released whatever was holding me back. I began to spend more time with new friends, meet new people, travel around Florida, and am traveling to Costa Rica in 2 weeks. I ran a half marathon, started a blog, and tried many new things that I know I would not have tried had I still been in a relationship. At 22, I got free.

It's amazing to think that a massive change in plans can bring so much good. I have changed so much during this past year and I am proud of the woman I am becoming. I am more independent than I ever have been, I am happier than I ever have been, and I know that I am headed in a good direction with my life. I am beginning on a new adventure, of which I am not ready to fully divulge the details, but life is good. It took almost a year, but I can officially say that I have moved on, and I think this post is the final step. I have forgiven my first love, I hold no grudges, and I wish him well. I will always love him and he will always be special to me, and I credit my growth over this past year in part to him. He was the catalyst. I am thankful for great friends and unique opportunities. Most of all, I am thankful for freedom.

What are your thoughts?